“Window-licking” is an affaire d’intérêt with Parisians, a matter of money, if not survival. It takes a bulging wallet (and at least one credit card or checkbook—the French write checks for everything) to actually make purchases at the chic department stores and trendy boutiques, so most locals satisfy their consumer fetishism with what Americans more prosaically describe as “window-shopping.”

You can, however, get your hands on a designer original that already has been worn in a fashion show, or pick up rea­sonably priced designer “seconds” and used designer clothing at specialty stores around town (see “Bargain Hunting,” below). Hip, young Parisians, like their American counterparts, put together their ultra-stylish anti-fashion statements with items from used-clothing stores and thrift shops. The bonus here is, even if you can do without the retro polyester jogging suits, recent castoffs from chic Parisian closets are often just coming into style back at home.

And of course you want to get some sort of souvenir that comes with a story you can repeat to all of your friends, espe­cially if you found the little treasure after an hour-long trek to a local flea market (see “Watch out for fleas and fleecers,” later in this chapter). Who knows, you may end up with an Eiffel Tower enshrined in a plastic altar and decorated with Christmas-tree lights.

If splurging on high-fashion (or tacky souvenirs) isn’t your raison d’être, you can easily rid yourself of spare cash on other delights for which the French are famous: wine and champagne, gourmet kitchenware, sensuous perfumes, and fine sheets and pillowcases that make you understand a bit more clearly why Marcel Proust spent so much of his life in bed. Not to mention fine pens and desk supplies, terrific underwear, chocolate, and the hippest cheap gift on the globe: mustard. In general, French spending is down, and has been down for some time, so retailers are desperate to get some of your cash. That means clearance racks and flat-out bargaining are common, no matter where you shop. Twice a year look for Paris’s famous so/des, the markdowns that are regulated by French law.

One final word of warning—watch out for the vendeuses, or female shop assistants, who usually come in one of three vari­eties: frosty, smarmy, or pushy! Many work on commission and will do Oscar-quality performances when it comes to convinc­ing customers they can’t live without the latest ludicrously expensive Starck-designed kitchen gadget. They can also be Designer dressing... You have to have serious Attitude to shop on Avenue Montaigne, the land of frosty blonde vendeuses who’d sooner impale themselves on a stiletto heel than wish you a nice day. If you’re really not up to their withering looks, you can always dawdle outside the bou­tiques and be a window-licker. Begin with a visit to Christian Dior’s sumptuous flagship store, filled with the wildly flamboyant (and wildly expensive) collections dreamt up by in-house eccentric John Galliano. Up the road at Givenchy, designer Alexander McQueen—aka the inven­ tor of “butt-crack” trousers—tones his style down for ladies-and-celebrities-who-lunch, while another British fashion talent, Phoebe Philo, tempts modern vamps at Chloë. Celine’s windows used to be full of prim little suits for prissy French madams, but New Yorker Michael Kors put the Celine logo back in style with a vengeance. Style slaves should also visit the beautifully revamped Balenci­ aga boutique, where Nicolas Ghesquiere pulls the crowds with sexy little black dresses and collections inspired by heroines from A/ien and Star Wars.

Chanel (as in Kaiser Karl reworking the Coco clas­sics), Jean-Paul Gaultier, and Thierry Mugler (the high priest of hips and bosoms) are still firm French favorites. Lanvin is also worth a visit—if only to eat supermodel sal­ads washed down with ludicrously expensive mineral water at Café Bleu—but the one to watch is Yves Saint Laurent. Now that Fashion god Tom Ford is no longer in control of the creative reins, it remains to be seen if the YSL logo will continue to be a smokin’ property. Victoire and L’E­ ciaireur are good multi-label shops. Cashmere fans will think they’ve died and gone to heaven in Malo—that is, until they’ve seen the price tags. Eric Bompard is (slightly) cheaper and stocks an extensive selection for men and women. Don’t be put off by the frumpy-looking vitrines! Fashion junkies who really want to splurge should pay a visit to vintage couture king Didier Ludot. Secondhand
Dior and Chanel don’t come cheap, but five-figure price tags are only to be expected now that Miuccia Prada’s become one of Ludot’s best clients. To find the perfect vin­tage Hermes bag to go with your new (old) Chanel suit, head to Les 3 Marches.